The Prefects' Bathroom

The Black Parade is Dead!

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:23:18 GMT

-Bumped because finished now-

The Black Parade is Dead!

Why am I not seeing more squee from this from the My Chemical Romance on my F-List? Is it because the tour is so extremely officially over?

In honor of the TBPID, ($19.99 for the CD/DVD combo, ILUMCR, and also I kind of want to tack up the thanks-to-the-fans card somewhere by my computer so I can see it often and smile because shit, that just felt so much cooler than seeing a line of thanks hidden in the sleeve somewhere in the "credits"), I'm going to post a live review as I watch the DVD (so refresh every few minutes, if you're reading this).

The weather here is crap, though, so if we end up losing power again, go read this (easily one of the absolute best fanfics I've ever read for any fandom--hell, better than most non-fanfic fics I've read--and you don't have to be a fan or know anything about the band to follow it... best I've read in a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong, long, long time... and it's better if you don't know anything about it going in, so no I won't tell you what's up with it, but shit, just trust me that the author really goes somewhere with this and fucking makes this work in an amazing way... I give it the strongest recommendation I could possibly give to any fic, of any kind, seriously. If you read it, lemme know what you think. I should warn you, though, this completely TOOK OVER MY MIND for two solid days, so once you're halfway in, you won't be able to sleep until you're done. Brief snippets of historical background sandwiched between each chapter; follow the red underlined links at the bottom to the next part, and yes the series is finished).

And xylodemon, if you happen to read this, it's totally because of ~~your rampant fangirling~~ you that I got into this band, so thank you. <3 This won't be as good as her reviewing Life on the Murder Scene, but then again, she's the awesome author, so she gets to be rad like that.

Right. On to the DVD live!review.

Intro/tape/before the concert(s) start:
MIKEY what the HELL is going on with your hair?! I love you with and without your glasses, and everybody digs your sideburns, but with the top and sides like that, you're looking... well, like a REALLY SKINNY Elvis impersonator.
Ray, thank you for massaging Frank for me. Also, congrats on being a dad (see sleeve credits)... how did nobody know about that?
Guys in surgeon costumes on standby? Can't wait to see when those show up later.
ETA later: Wait--did they, ever? Maybe I looked away for a second?

Song: The End
GERARD OPENING THE SONG ON THE HOSPITAL BED!!!!!!!!! Complete with blood transfusion bag! Best intro EVER!!!!!!! Too bad he wasn't naked under the gown like patients usually are. When he was laying down, it felt very Rocky-is-born from RHPS.
Gee wins at theatrics. His screaming face when the guitars blare, and the shhh motion before he starts singing again, and... yes, yes, yes. It's going to take me forever to review this, because I keep re-watching little moments. His make-up looks perfect, too--deadish, but not skeleton (though the House of Blues show was absolutely perfect for Halloween).
Frank flashes the audience (fully-clothed and with his jacket only) during "I'll serve it in drag" = XD
MCR member who stole this song: Gerard, hands down, with the theatrics in the beginning.

Song: Dead!
I love Frank's hair like this. I don't care if I'm the only one. A full head of hair looks beautiful on him as he moves around (see: the I Don't Love You video). Poor guy is already sweating, though--it's gonna be a long show.
Ray is totally stealing this song, with this close-up expression with "you heard the news that you're dead" and his THIGHS in those pants.
I love Mikey walking up front with Gerard and looking comfortable. He's come so far.
Gerard's kicks and expressions and hand-licking and the saunter with "while aren't we living!" This fucking rocks, seeing them in such a good quality instead of blurry youtube shows.
Bob, I love your clock!bassdrum.
MCR member who stole this song: Ray and this thighs, in beautiful shots that deserve awards for cinematography.

Song: This is How I Disappear
Is Bob's drumstand on a rotating base, or is that just the shot?
Saying "when this kicks in, get up off the floor" then "JUMP!" is much better than the needless "GO!" on the album (yeah, I said it--needless).
I can almost see smoke coming from Ray's hand. Almost.
It's nice to see Gerard with a little length to his hair again (yes, I can't stop talking about their hair--SHUT UP). Just don't let it get too long, Gee, because you're better-looking when you're not hiding behind it like in days of yore.
LMAO at Gee's terrified/squicked face during "girls inside your bed."
What's up with how much I love Gerard's Rockstar!Arm pumps?
MCR member who stole this song: Honestly, this was well-taped and their energy is great, but there weren't any OMGSQUEECRAZY moments for me, so... I guess it defaults to Gerard? Singer's privileges?

Song: The Sharpest Lives
This DVD does not like being paused--it gets skippy and the sound sometimes messes up.
Gee needs to catch his breath and drink some water. He sounds exhausted. He's still sweating his soul into the song, of course. :)
Mikey, I officially hate your hair. I don't even know--
--oh, as soon as I typed that, he did his pigeon-toed stance. Damn.
I love you, Mikey.
Gerard keeps ordering the audience to jump--like, to the point that I'm wondering about possible fetishes.
MCR member who stole this song: Mikey, and his crazy awful hair and fucking cute-and-hot everything else and his face when Gerard's facing him at the end and wailing.

Song: Welcome to the Black Parade
Mikey. The hair. Please. What the hell?
Oh, wow, the crowd is singing loud at the beginning--I can actually make out the lyrics, and usually can't (as much as I get the atmospheric potential of holding your mic to the audience to sing, I really want to hear Gerard singing, not intelligible audience screams).
GERARD FISTING!!! Yes, it's that good.
It's going to take some crazy magic shit from the rest of the band to even come close to Gerard's awesome here. Though--Frank is starting to catch my attention.
Bob!Feet! I love that shot! He might win, just for that. Stuff the youtube concerts can just never capture.
Fuck, Frank is gorgeous, pouring sweat with that gorgeous hair flying all over his gorgeous face and his crazy energy.
OOoohhh, I like the way Gerard sings "we'll carry on" here right after the "I don't care."
Aaaand, the stage ORGASMS confetti everywhere. Gerard's officially rocked the stage to orgasm (possibly the audience, too).
MCR member who stole this song: I really, really wanted it to be Bob because--he was actually visible, and his FEET (and--rotating platform, y/n? I still can't tell), but. Gerard rocked so hard it way made up (tee) for The Sharpest Lives, and seriously, this is the best song so far next to The End (the whole band was great, their energy was fantastic here), and Gee MADE THE STAGE CLIMAX ALL OVER THE AUDIENCE, seriously, so. He wins.

Song: I Don't Love You
One of the first songs I downloaded by MCR, before I gave up and just bought all their CDs, but also one of the ones I listen to least these days.
Frank's gonna win this one, I can already tell, and Gee hasn't even started singing yet.
The clock on Bob's bassdrum is now the lady with the gasmask on from the Black Parade art.
Thank you for that awesome crotch shot of Frank. Really.
Frank seems to be very carefully not looking at anybody?
Drum stand's definitely not rotating, at least now.
LMAO at Gee's dramatic hair-messing-up theatrics during the guitar solo. Who else wants to see him in a Herbal Essence commercial and get treated to Geegasm!shampooing his beautiful silky locks? (Also--what the hell is up with my hair obsession tonight?)
MCR member who stole this song: Frank's the one who seemed really into this song, so he finally wins one.

Song: House of Wolves
Somebody holds up an "I <3 Frank Iero" sign, which obviously made it into the video because the director agrees that Frank won the last song.
What the fuck is with the weird keyboard plunking here? Seriously, I kept pausing to figure out if that was my husband doing shit in the other room, but no--it's just weird keyboard plunking in the song. Doesn't work for me at all.
Frank just ran his fingers up the guitar neck in a way that looked absolutely obscene (well, this came with a parental warning sticker, so), and... yeah. I feel squishy. Had to watch that again. And he's really playing the guitar from the crotch here, so. This song = Frank-is-sex. Yes, please. Can I get refills?
Gerard's singing on his knees. And blowing the audience a kiss and panting. And now singing to Frankie, obviously because Frank is fucking SMOKING this song. Aww, Gee's determined not to be ignored by Frank, good for him. Ouch, he's getting ignored anyway. Boys, get married to girls all you want, but you're only feeding the slashers with your concerts.
Bob update: the clock's back.
Aaaaand... I was entirely sure that Frank would get this song, but Gerard just did a butt!dance for the audience, so. Frank, if you want this one, you're gonna have to shake your hot little ass.
(Please?)
I'm watching the ass dance again. Ahhhhh, nice.
Gee's feeding us slashfans DESSERT now, with his antics here--he really is coming across as frustrated by being ignored by Frank and trying harder and harder to get his attention.
Where the hell is Ray, and why isn't he on camera more these last couple songs? Also, Bob. I miss Bob!feet.
I think I just figured out Frankie's problem--it's that damn keyboard playing. It's driving me batty, too, Frank.
MCR ~~member~~ ship who stole this song: Frerard

Song: Interlude/Cancer
They can make this two tracks, but they bleed together, and the interlude isn't really a song, just soft of a long intro to Cancer, so fuck it--they get lumped together in my review.
Gerard's standing in front of the spotlight, one part Brandon Lee in The Crow and the other part Michael Jackson with his poses, and I'm psyched because I heard this version in the car and I know this is gonna be awesome.
It's just Gee and the keyboard player for this one (and he's doing great, no House of Wolves keyboard!smash)--no cheesy violins, none of the campy vocals that get on my nerves on the album version, and it's so much more sincere and beautiful and Gee's got the audience in his ripped gloves.
~~Backstage, Frank is sobbing into Ray's chest, and Ray is rubbing Frank's shoulders like in the beginning of the DVD.~~
MCR member who stole this song: Gerard, of course

Song: Mama
It's Ray's turn for the awesome crotch-shot now, though I have to admit knowing he's a dad ruins the magic just a pinch for me.
The way Gerard's make-up is melting right now is just killing me with this song. This performance is heartbreaking instead of disturbing or creepy (see the Halloween House of Blues version).
Fire, yay.
The emotion is so raw now that not even Ray's thighs can distract me.
Not many comments, just--awesome job.
MCR member who stole this song: Gerard is cracking, Frankie. Give him a fucking hug already! Mikey! Do something!

Song: Sleep
I love this as a sequel to Mama, especially the "I don't feel bad about it."
Gerard's given up on Frank and is now sexy-dancing up to Ray.
And singing to Mikey (who's cool with it, because when is Mikey not cool?).
And just ignoring Frank.
And covering his eyes ("the awful things that I've seen") and whipping his hand away with an overly surprised face like some messed-up game of peek-a-boo.
Gerard's fisting just never gets old.
MCR member who stole this song: Nobody. The entire band just fucking played their hearts out with this song, completely threw all of themselves into it, and it was breath-taking. They all win.

Song: Teenagers
I've been looking forward to this one.
DAMN IT, I haven't been updating Bob's drums (the gas mask lady's been back at least once). Poor Bob isn't getting much screen time, and the bass update is most of what he's got with this DVD, other than just saying that he sounds really fucking good, and right on.
I can see the outline of something square in Frank's pockets. I want to grab.
Oh, dear, Gee's DOUBLE FISTING now. Apparently the stage isn't capable of multiple orgasms, though, despite the ending of the Teenagers music video.
Mikey looks like he's sweated an entire swimming pool, and his hair's still in that horrible coif I hate.
Gerard meets my expectations: sexy strutting during the second verse, check, and that weird chicken dance (I know) during the guitar solo, check.
I love you guys, and I get your commitment to the jackets with your last Black Parade concert, but seriously--you look like you're about to collapse from heat exhaustion. Please take the jackets off.
The keyboarding needs to stop. Now.
MCR member who stole this song: Original guitar hero Ray Toro.

The Black Parade is Dead
Gerard saying cool greeting stuff to the audience and talked about the end of the Black Parade, etc., but no, this does not have any music at all. Rip-off of a separate track (I might be glad I can skip over it later, though, I'll admit).

Song: Disenchanted
Ray's so covered in sweat, his hair's gone limp. Yes, Ray. :( Take off the jackets, boys.
Either the security's crazy, or they don't stage dive in Mexico...? I know this isn't really the best song for it anyway, but I got a clear shot of the front, etc.
Awww, Frank and Gerard both do a pointy-thing at the audience for "so wrong, so wrong"--they're in a very cute synch.
There is BOB in this song! Like, good shots, not just confirmation that he's not on a turning stage! He is a madman on the drums, then like a statue at the end.
MCR member who stole this song: BOB! Yes!

Song: Famous Last Words
Just when I'm mentally swearing to let go of the Frerard in this review, the camera focuses on Frank walking towards the back of the stage when Gee sings, "I know that I can't make you stay."
Ok. The rings. I'm over it ~~for this review~~. I swear.
Gerard's replacing lyrics with the word "JUMP!" again--in this case, "I can't--JUMP!" And yeah, I can see that, for Gee, that really is a horrible, dreaded fate.
I can clearly hear the audience again when Gerard has them take over singing. As much as I dislike it when it doesn't work, I have to admit, it's cool when it does.
MCR member who stole this song: Mikey's awesome in this one, but Gerard is crawling across the floor singing at the end, and it's hard not to remember that most.

Song: Blood
End credits, of course. Perfect, and yay, I get this on my iPod minus the hidden-track minutes at the beginning.

EDIT: This took longer than I thought because I kept pausing and re-watching bits, so this review covers the Mexico City show only. The New Jersey concert review will be posted later this week.

Happy Saturday, have a ficlet

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:58:13 GMT

the_sexorcist wrote me a ficlet after I took her up on her generous offer. And this is totally rad, because the world needs more Barty/Regulus, and there also needs to be more fic by the_sexorcist, so essentially--total win. Have a read, make a new friend, etc.

Title: Socks
Author: the_sexorcist
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Light slash
Memorable quote: "I've been standing here in nothing but a sock for a whole minute, when are you going to look up?"
My comments: A friend of mine once told me that a guy she'd made out with didn't count, because she hadn't been naked. When I asked how much she'd still had on, she replied, "My socks."
The thought of Regulus in just-his-sock is a thousand times sexier, though, and who doesn't love a freshly-imprinted DE fic? It'll only take a couple minutes, so have a read and leave a comment, please. <3

Who wants fic?

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:26:06 GMT

Who wants ~~cake~~ fic?

It's been a while since I've done a two-bit pervvy fic post, and I'm totally digging this wine, so. ~~First ten people to post, gimme a pairing for my fandoms and/or a prompt, and I'll write you a two-sentence ficlet reply. Slash preferred, but het ok.~~ ETA: I've got my ten. See comments for fic. :)

How's everybody been? Vacation was fucking crazy, seriously, and I just wanted to HUG ALL OF HOUSTON when I got home. (Yes, all of it. At the same time. The Hobbit Cafe and BBQ and my garden and just everything, and also, I love our skyline and it's good to be home).

Random snark

Wed, 14 May 2008 03:23:57 GMT

My snark is leaking, so--random blurbs (not from the same conversation) I've been meaning to mention in posts:

"Apple: when learning a real computer can wait, but hot mansex can't." --Laurel (in reference to this article)
"[FORUM X] is like a giant uterus that wants to park its bicycle in your house." --Teh Husband
"Like most worthwhile projects, it's powered by emo. Which is much stronger than solar power, though not as easy to get during the day." --Laurel
"Your uterus is total bullshit." --Teh Husband

Teh husband's friend was talking shit about Arby's. But that's total bullshit, because you know what? Arby's is like Starbuck's sexlife with Sam: it's easy to take it for granted, and talk shit about it, and think you totally don't need to hit that up, but then sometimes you crave it, you fucking WANT IT NOW, and you HAVE to have it, and nothing else will do, and when you finally give in and go for it, it's just so fucking satisfying it blows your fucking mind, and you wonder why you abuse it so easily the rest of the time. OMGGRATUITIOUSMEAT--you know you secretly love it.

Mini Snarky TV Rant for BSG:

SAM: "You totally love me and stuff! You married me!"
STARBUCK: "WHY ARE YOU SO FRACKING STUPID, THAT IS NOT WHY PEOPLE GET MARRIED ON THIS SHOW, YOUR LOVE MAKES ME HATE YOU!"
SAM: "Baby, it's totally not my fault that we're out of chocolate."
STARBUCK: "Frack me OMGHARDCORE! I need a machine to keep up with my libido!"
SAM: "..."
STARBUCK: "You're worthless. I will totally make this crappy ship turn around to booty-call Apollo, don't think that I won't!"
SAM: *Hate-fracks Starbuck. With the Power of Emo(TM)*
STARBUCK: *Feels sated; vaguely wonders why Sam was so much like that pink vibrator from Inspector No. 17 that she bought a few years ago; makes mental note to find said vibrator before dumping Sam again*
SAM: *Feels used; vaguely wonders if cylons can get STDs; makes mental note to ask the Six model*

Sleep Deprivation, Take 2: Sleep Like You Mean It!

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:55:59 GMT

In spite of what the doctor told me two years ago about me probably being an "Ambien for life" kind of person, apparently it's time to change my Rx (Laurel: "Wha...?"). I wasn't even fucking there this time around (so, yeah--ignore my "presence" in the below conversation, this was more like my reaction as Teh Husband reenacted it for me)--it went something like this:

TEH HUSBAND: *goes to the doctor for Random Crud he's Sick With (TM)*
TEH DOCTOR: "Good to see you, Patient #264 With Good Insurance--BTW how's Laurel?"
TEH HUSBAND: "She's good. She's all, can't get pregnant ever now, and stuff, which is badass. But not sleeping so good."
TEH DOCTOR: "OMGWTFAMBIENRXSHEISON!"
TEH HUSBAND: "Yeah, but she's, like, falling asleep pretty ok this time, but waking up really early and can't go back to sleep."
TEH DOCTOR: "..."
TEH HUSBAND: "..."
TEH DOCTOR: "..."
TED HUSBAND: "So, um. '...' from a doctor really hasn't ever been a good thing in my experience, so..."
TEH DOCTOR: "Your wife has built up a... significant... tolerance to Ambien."
(LAUREL: "What, does he think I'm supposed to be dead after taking this stuff for two years? Of course the magic has faded a little!")
TEH HUSBAND: "Rock. Let's get her off..."
(LAUREL: "OMGPLEASEGETMEOFF!")
TEH HUSBAND: "...of Ambien..."
(LAUREL: "OMGNOPLEASENO!")
TEH HUSBAND: "...because I never wanted her to be on it again anyway."
(LAUREL: "How about you just get-me-off, get me off? You know, the fun kind...? Please?")
TEH HUSBAND: "No. I am contagious with my Random Crud I'm Sick With(TM)."
TEH DOCTOR: "Tell your wife that a lot of better-than-Ambien-for-longterm-insomnia solutions have come out since we started this up again, and to come in in the next month or so to discuss her other options with me."
(LAUREL: "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!")
TEH HUSBAND: "Alas, still no, for I Am Contageous."
(LAUREL: "You TRAITOR! You didn't even bring me shiny samples!!!")
TEH DOCTOR: "Bring me Patient #265 With Good Insurance!"

See, because Laurel/Ambien is kinda like House/Vicodin... we're TIGHT, we're INSEPERABLE, and even when it's not working, it's working. So I'm not exactly cheerful about the prospect of going through the horrible taper-off-and-don't-sleep-for-a-month--especially if I'm addicted, and even if there's going to be something else to try--but, the fucking doctor who approves the fucking refills is into this, so. Who wants a drink? (Me!)

Music meme

Fri, 02 May 2008 03:01:20 GMT

Music lyrics meme:
1. Put your music player on shuffle (note from Laurel: these are from my Shuffle, so these are songs from my heart, yo)
2. Write down the first song lyric of each song that comes up (note from Laurel: yeah, fuck that part--I'm putting down my favorite lyric from each song, not necessarily the first one in the song... which might make this easier, actually, if I like a memorable phrase best)
3. Post the lyrics so that your friends can guess the song titles (no cheating or looking up the songs!)
4. Strike out the song as it is guessed (I'm not staying up late for this, but I'll update it as I'm online)

And also--I cheated and wouldn't duplicate any bands.

ETA: BONUS: I'm linking the songs as they're guessed, so you can hear the win.

~~"The very first time I saw touched your skin, I thought of a story and rushed to reach the end too soon."~~ (song: "Primary," by The Cure--guessed by mariposa)
~~"I will have faith in man that is hard to understand..."~~ ("Get Right With Me," by Depeche Mode--guessed by foxtrot_sierra)
~~"All those stars that shine upon you will kiss you every night..."~~ (song: "Mystify Me," by INXS--guessed by the_sexorcist)
~~"I charm you and tell you, of the boys I hate, all the girls I hate, all the words I hate, all the clothes I hate--how I'll never be anything I hate..."~~ (song: "The Dark of the Matinee," by Franz Ferdinand--guessed by rebekahfair)
~~"If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave."~~ (song: "The Sharpest Lives," by My Chemical Romance--guessed by afteryou)
~~"I know that I would not ever touch you, hold you, feel you, ever, no, never again..."~~ (song: "Porch," by Pearl Jam--guessed by jinxgirl71)
~~"Young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy..."~~ (song: "Don't Stand So Close to Me," by The Police--guessed by maybe_someday8)
~~"Complicated, x-rated, I want you bad, bad, bad, bad, bad."~~ (song: "Want You Bad," by The Offspring--guessed by krinstine00)
~~"He was brutally handsome; she was terminally pretty."~~ (song: "Life in the Fast Lane," by The Eagles--guessed by krinstine00)
~~"It's hard for me to say what's right, when all I wanna do is wrong."~~ (song: "Get Off," by Prince--guessed by maybe_someday8)
~~"I know when to go out, I know when to stay in..."~~ ("Modern Love," by David Bowie--guessed by ash_in_your_eye)
~~"Am I wrong--have I run too far to get home?"~~ (song: "Would?" by Alice in Chains--guessed by maybe_someday8)
~~"We crucify the insincere tonight."~~ (song: "Tonight, Tonight" by Smashing Pumpkins--guessed by maybe_someday8)
~~"And eight, eight... I forget what eight was for..."~~ (song: "Kiss Off," by The Violent Femmes--guessed by maybe_someday8)
~~"And when I'm asleep, make sure my blanket covers me."~~ ("Away," by Toadies--guessed guessed by foxtrot_sierra)
~~"...and spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread, [song title spoiler]"~~ (song: "I Think I Love You," by The Partridge Family, guessed by afteryou)
~~"It's gonna be a beautiful day, so do the bluebirds sing..."~~ (song: "The Magic Position," by Patrick Wolf--guessed by the_sexorcist)
~~"When they get what they want, they never want it again."~~ ("Violet," by Hole--guessed by maybe_someday8)
"Houston, do you hear me?"
~~"All I can do is read a book to stay awake... and it rips my life away, but it's a great escape."~~ ("No Rain," by Blind Melon--guessed by krinstine00)

This is a good stopping point, right--20? The meme doesn't say when to stop.

Ohhhh, wait! Bonus question (I will be totally impressed if anybody gets this one without looking it up):
21. "I'm just a sexy trash can."

Harold and Kumar 2

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:03:05 GMT

Who else saw it this weekend?

(Fuck you, donuts are AWESOME!)

Letters, letters, letters

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 03:54:21 GMT

I love drinking with my husband, because he doesn't get drunk often, but when he does... he's just totally hilarious and full of win.

LAUREL: *munch munch munch while on computer*
TEH HUSBAND: *whirling around* "ARE YOU EATING COOKIES?!"

And yeah, don't even ask me how he guessed that, because he didn't see them, he just heard them and immediately identified the sound of me eating cookies. Yes, apparently the love of my life can now identify the sound of me munching on his favorite food, compared to Whatever Else I Might Be Eating. (Side note: these cookies look and taste exactly like Girl Scout Thin Mints--so much so that Teh Husband's best friend accused me of lying when I said they were not Thin Mints--but they're cheaper, can be bought in grocery stores, are available year-round, and you get more in a box. TOTAL WIN!).

TEH HUSBAND: *has such a short drunk!attention span, he's checking his sites in his phone instead of his computer*
LAUREL: "You should try looking at YouTube." Because, it never fails me.
TEH HUSBAND: "I don't even know what's on YouTube."
LAUREL: "I'll send you a link..." *totally Rick Rolls Teh Husband*

Dear Robert Smith,
Happy birthday, even though you're a bit of an arsehole who sacked some of his best mates with stabby stab back-stab.
At least you kept the prettiest one for kissing.
Your last concert sucked, but I'll always fondly remember the angsty soundtrack you gave me during high school,
Laurel

Dear Clothing People,
STOP FUCKING WITH THE SIZING. There is no fucking way a woman my height in her heatlhy weight range is a size fucking 4, nevermind the size 2 from yesterday. This is fucking bullshit. YOU ARE PANDERING TO WOMEN. You think we'll want to buy your shit more if we feel skinny because we're buying a teeny size. You know what makes me NOT WANT TO BUY your stuff? Having to try every single cut and style and brand on in three different sizes, because I honestly do not know what size I am because sizing is so inconsistent in your industry, and trying on 15 pairs of pants over the course of an hour before maybe finding one that sorta kinda works but kinda still needs to get tailored to be really good. Fuck you. Can we please just call us a size waist-in-inches like you do with men's clothes? You do this for them because you know they would rather not buy things, than waste their time with bullshit sizing. Why can't you be so polite to women? Our time is worth money, too.
Up yours,
Laurel

Dear Teh Husband,
Check out this link OMG!
<3
Wifey

Dear Make-Up-Loving-F-List,
I was totally curious about that Physician's Formula Organic Wear make-up line that they've been pimping the hell out of in women's magazines, and Walgreen's has the OMGSQUEE sale: boxed sets of buy-one-kind, get-another-kind-free (i.e., buy the finishing powder, get the tinted moisturizer free) and on top of that, they're 40% off this week. I got the whole line in my skintone (which is... let's see... tinted moisturizer, loose powder, pressed powder, finishing powder, blush, concealer, and bronzer) for less than $50. Wheeee!
Also? If this stuff breaks me out, I am so, so screwed.
Yay for fun make-up,
Product Junkie

Dear Crack!Fic Writers,
Less is more; specifically, it's important to know how to let out the funniest bits but wrap things up rather than drag them out.
For examples, see the amazing/hilarious/brilliant lines:
1. "Frank bled and bled until he fell into a comma. Then Gerard felt better and came looking for him and found him commatose but had sex with him anyway because he knew that's what Frankie would want."
2. "he licked [blood] up and became a vampire. Suddenly Vampire!Gerard was soooo much hotter than regular Gee. And everybody wanted a peace of that."
But also, the (overdone) full fic.
-Laurel, who really does want a piece of ~~Gerard Way~~ Drunk!Husband

Make mine spiked

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:31:25 GMT

Tonight, I made a disturbing discovery that just about every fandom I dabble in has a fanvid (or two dozen, if you're a Sailor Moon fan--whatever) with the song Milkshake. And it's like eating at Denny's: the idea is repulsive and you say no--no, no! when somebody suggests it, but once the pancakes are in front of you, it's fuck yes.

Pass the syrrup.

Gerard Way's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard (and Laurel wants a refill); thankfully, a punked-out version of the song is used for My Chemical Romance

Harry Potter's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard XD (in which Remus is somehow flamboyantly sexy, and also, I really miss that actor who used to play Tom Riddle)

LoTR Actors' milkshake Not especially original, but--dancing, slashy actors

And, linked on my journal quite a while back: Franz Ferdinand milkshake (a shockingly good remix that stands on its own)

I will not stay up late looking for one for Spiderman or Heroes... I will not...

Sharks, airlocks

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:14:59 GMT

Recap of a news story I read today:
3 SHARKS: "We can has your fish?"
FISHERMAN: "OMGWTFNOGOWAY"
3 SHARKS: "WE END YOU!"
LAUREL: "OMGWTFTHREESHARKS!" *has had nightmares like that*
FISHERMAN: *bleeds like whoa*
FIJIANS: "We have an American surfer in town, who happens to be a DENTIST--what luck!"
DENTIST: ...
200 dentist-made stitches in the arm later...
FISHERMAN: *is fine*
LAUREL: "Fiji men are totally HARDCORE! Also, TRIPLE SHARK ATTACK, what the FUCK?!"

And before you say, "He should have let the sharks have the fish!" please consider: THREE FUCKING SHARKS. I'd have been clutching anything nearby in terror. The poor man probably didn't even remember he had a fish (what does this word "fish" mean? OMG THREE FUCKING SHARKS!). It probably happened really fast, and was really terrifying, and also? Fuck punching sharks in the nose, the nose is RIGHT BY THEIR MOUTHS, just a slight head turn and CHOMP!--there goes your hand.

I will never sleep again.

Here, have a Snarky TV Rant for BSG (spoilers for Season 4, Episode 2).

Tonight we had a friend over for dinner, and after dinner, I fixed my make-up a bit because we were about to watch Battlestar Galactica, and for whatever reason, that made total sense. I think some small part of me doesn't realize I'm not dating Laura Roslin.

On one hand, she's totally about to be on the market again. On the other hand, OMGHERPRETTYHAIRGASP! Poor President Laura. (Dude, I totally hope she orders Tori to shave her head and makes a wig out of her hair, because Tori disobeyed a DIRECT ORDER to brush her damn hair, and use it or lose it, bitch!) On one hand, dying soon. On the other hand, very cool airlock.

Huh, maybe Roslin does try to take Tori's hair next week, and that's why Tori panics and tries to end Cally next episode, or whatever the hell that was on the preview for next week.

(NOTE TO TORI: Roslin will so not go for Cally's hair.)

You know what the hell is wrong with everybody on this show? Adama needs a big ass STEAK, and Starbuck needs some fucking CHOCOLATE (ovary issues!), and Lee needs some fucking COFFEE, and Baltar needs a fucking CIGARETTE, and Roslin needs to be able to GO SHOE SHOPPING AGAIN, and OMG, there are NO CRAVINGS that can be indulged in here, and fuck, that sucks, no wonder everybody is so damn CRABBY and ANNOYING right now (except Roslin, who I <3 so, so much)! That explains everything, and suddenly, I'm a little more sympathetic.

Can The Chief fucking just get it on with Boomer again already? Because that's totally inevitable.

I was one of the fans who thought Xena, Warrior!Cylon was going to be unshelved this episode, so I was hugely disappointed when it was just Six-With-Different-Hair that I saw on the preview instead. Imagine me waiting all episode for Three to show up and break the tie vote! In one of her white suits with her badass Charlie's Angels hairstyle! Fuck yeah! Except, no, sadly--and if she's still retired, and NOT USING THAT HAIR, I can think of a few good uses for it... I'm just sayin'.  This would totally be for, like, ~~unethical~~ charity, a la Locks of Love.

(LAUREL: *would love Roslin in any hair color*)

And apparently, as much as I hate Baltar, I totally love the version of him that's in other people's heads (Caprica!Six, his own, whatever).  His meanness makes me giggle. That scene was so funny and made of utter win, I can almost forgive him for stopping midway during sex and talking about god and apparently still keeping his hard-on because it looked like the penetration hadn't stopped and he just started going again when they were done talking, and just--eww. Creepy. And Tori is totally fucked up in the head now, but luckily for her, Baltar is a Lapdance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying kind of guy.

Speaking of people in people's heads, I'm fucking fantasizing about Roslin being in Adama's head (a la if Adama saying "get out of my head" to her could be taken literally). Imagine that shit! She'd be all mean to him and guilting him and making fun of him and just, yes. Please, yes. If Roslin's not a cylon, I swear I will give the BSG writers cancer, too.

Fuck Starbuck, BTW--talk of her is banned on my journal.

Original Airlock!Cylon has a canon number now? Damn. I guess he's "Two" now, but at least I can imagine the Priest!Cylon yelling at him, "WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?!" and, tee-hee. For that matter, Priest!Cylon being "One" might be news, too. (Side note: I think the "final" cylon is Seven, since that's always such an important number, and we're not in numerical order anyway since we know who seven models are and Eight/Sharon/Boomer is... well, Eight).

Hopefully all the goodbye scenes Lee had (at least three, WTF? that's kinda like the chick at work who's had her birthday balloons up for two months now, I'm not kidding, two months, and I kinda want to say something to her) means he's gonna be out for a few episodes. And if not, hopefully the TV Rant will be so much better when the writer is cryin', because... yeah. I don't even know.

TEH HUSBAND: "Lee had more goodbye scenes than fuckin' Frodo and Sam."

Some new vampire movie, and also, chicken

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 00:27:15 GMT

Ok, so I'm the one fangirl on LJ who doesn't really know anything about Robert's new vampire movie (and wants to keep it that way, since the less I know the better the odds are that I won't be disappointed), hi. So, this is not the place to squeel speculations, because I just fucking won't know what you're talking about.

But apparently this movie has already inspired icons from me--wha...?! I'm not quite sure how that happened, but I totally blame christwise, because this was just too damn good to ignore.

Side note: I'm a happy meat-eater (try not to be, when you live in Texas--I dare you), but this movie blurb got me wondering whether vegetarians and vegans are extra squicky about vampire movies. Thoughts? Because my take on that snippet is that, between the chicken and the cheese, none of this hottness would have been possible if Robert was a vegetarian or vegan, so. Gotta love us meat-eaters extra much now, look at what hot things we put into the world.

Happy Birthday, Remus!

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 02:19:52 GMT

I was just informed that March 10th is Remus Lupin's birthday.

Happy Birthday, Remus! If I'd known, maybe I wouldn't have made you get dumped by Regulus tonight in a roundrobbin.

Then again, I'm pretty sure that removing all specks of happiness from Remus's life (or afterlife, as it were in the above scenario) is how JKR always celebrated this occasion, so. We'll chalk this up to a salute to canon and try to move back to the smut in a later round, shall we?

There, there, Remus, have some chocolate. And Tonks dancing on a pole* (or close enough, anyway), to pass the time. Regulus will have a change of heart, he always does.

*minus the minor fact that it's pole-dancing, it's actually rather PG, and hell if it doesn't look pretty damn fun... work-safe level depends on where you work, but no nudity in that clip

New people

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 03:57:49 GMT

Bit of advise for you singles out there: Stop downloading shit on iTunes, put on some eyeliner, and go buy the CD from a store. Seriously. Music lovers are always inclined to discuss their favorite bands/concerts/sounds with fellow fans, and you will totally find yourself having conversations with strangers while buying CDs. I've been hit on twice in the last month buying My Chemical Romance albums. Knowing that each MCR CD comes with a virtual flirting pass is useless to me, but far be it from me to not pass on that jewel of opportunity to those who may benefit from it. (Side note: I am absolutely never going to get this song out of my head. Never. Warning for cursing--turn your speakers down if that would bother somebody. Also? I really fucking love their music videos--they're all really, really well done. They honestly do make the music even better.)

I'm so glad Franz Ferdinand's planning to release something new this year, I've worn out their first two albums. You know what else I need? Something new from The Offspring. Please. They still know how to rock.

What was I on about again...? Oh, right. Buying music makes you get hit on by guys. Possibly as much as reading the back of Kill Bill.

The new job's going well, because it is EXACTLY the opposite of my old job. The people, atmosphere, looks, boss, work, everything is totally different. Which is really, really good, since I'm almost positive that my old job was being run by dementors. I can't screw around on the computer at work anymore, but I just don't care--so far, so good.

Moonstar!

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 02:24:51 GMT

If you go outside RIGHT ABOUT NOW, you should be able to see a lunar eclipse with the star Regulus.

Moony-star! I wanna celebrate with some Remus/Regulus fic. Quirkie's got a ton posted--who else? Links, please?

(ETA: Moony-Reg pictures, for anybody else whose weather was too lousy to see it)

Ahhh, Friday.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 03:22:00 GMT

I'm staying in tonight, because I'm feeling very "meh, fuck it!" And it's raining a lot. And I don't have any real obligations tomorrow. Ahhhh! This feels good.

Huge thank-yous to everybody who took up the Valentine's Day challenge of doing a random act of kindness for somebody. I ended up celebrating V-Day by going to a blood drive. Not entirely random, but it will be very helpful to strangers. I'm determined to drag Teh Husband to the blood bank next week so they can stick him, too.

By the way--I found a HUGELY helfpul, where-have-you-been-all-my-life make-up trick that I thought I'd share, because seriously--this would have saved me a bundle over the last ten years.

Every time I've read a "tip" on how to find the perfect face color, it's always the same damn thing--take the three foundations (or concealors, or powders) that you think would match your skin best, and swipe a line of each over your jawline--the one that "disappears" is the one that you should wear.

Fuck that. That's never helped me. I cannot see my fucking jaw very easily with a mirror, thank you--I have to turn my head to crazy angles to try to make sure the light is hitting all the stripes equally, and I end up going sort of cross-eyed trying to hold that angle and stare into the mirror just so--whoever made that tip got as much amusement out of watching women do this at make-up counters as others do watching dogs chase their tails. If I don't do the crazy jaw-angle to see, shadows skew what I can see, because my cheekbones are just that rad (or, y'know, the light hits one spot more than another, because the jaw is curved and that means light does not hit it all the same. That, too). Add to that that half of the time, my neck and my face are not naturally the same exact color (I get redness easily, because I am OMGSOLIVELY), and I might as well sample the fucking blush to get a color match.

So, what DOES work?  According to Carmindy (the make-up artist on What Not To Wear), match your face make-up to your CHEST!  That's fucking revolutionary.  I'll add to that that you need to GO OUTSIDE--no, don't stand by the window for natural lighting, actually move your butt out of doors and stand in the middle of the sunlight*--and check your work there with a handmirror.

I tried this today with my Everyday Minerals samples (I've ordered a couple of their sample kits, because when all you have to pay is shipping, there's no reason NOT to make sure you're wearing the ultimate most perfect color ever). I painted a row of circles between my collarbone and breasts, each with a different color, using an eyeshadow contour brush. Four of the six colors looked like they matched me when I was indoors, and three of the six looked like they matched me when I was by the window--but going outside, I could tell that one of the "matching" three was too pink, and another was too yellow (and the ones that were too dark or light completely were very obviously so). One of the circles did indeed "disappear"--I could not see it at all, just a large space between two other circles. Using my chest area, I could see all the circles very well--no weird head tilts needed, I could stare and squint and study with ease. And yay, no more guesswork about what I think matches me, only to check my make-up in the car mirror and think, that doesn't quite match my neck, I look silly, it's really obvious that I have junk on my face. Make-up that doesn't properly match your skin just looks sloppy, unpolished, and cheap.

So, yay. I've been refusing for a while now to buy make-up from counters without first going outside to check it in natural light, but sampling near my collarbone is going to be so much easier than putting it on my face and trying to figure it out! This weekend I'm going to clean out my face make-up using this technique--I'm positive I have some concealors and such that won't pass this test, and those are going in the trash. (Side note: I'm also fucking done with this "color correction" crap trend. I have some pink in my skintone. So fucking what? I use a light layer of green to even things out, and I look grey in flourescent light. I use yellow-based powder to "counter" the pink, and it looks ok in person but my face is fucking orange in pictures. I'll stick to the color that actually matches me--and yes, it's a tad pinkish, but it looks good because it looks natural on me, like I just have nice skin instead of looking like I have a scary disease).

*WARNING: This activity has not been approved for vampires

If you have any amazing make-up tips, I'd love to hear them. :)

My Chemical Romance is coming to Houston. If the whole live show would be entirely like this (WARNING: adult content... but what the hell's with all the fanvids on YouTube about bands that don't use songs that are by that band? Please explain that to me, I want to know), I'd so be there. I'd probably only see one brief grind all night, though, and it's so hard to get good tickets these days, even if you buy them right away. On the other hand, the live clips I've seen sound really good--they don't sound like crap live, from what I can tell. So--should I try to go, or not? RL F-List, would any of you wanna go with me?

Valentine's Day suggestion

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:38:44 GMT

We were leaving husband's family member's hospital room tonight and were instructed to take one of the flower arrangements with us--there were too many, they were getting burdensome, etc. We got to the elevator and I turned to my husband and said, "We need to give these to somebody who needs them."  The next man we walked by was carrying a gift bag, and I stopped him and asked if he was going to visit somebody. He said yes, and I handed him the flowers and said, "please give this to them." He was shocked and asked if I was sure, we promised we were, explained we didn't need the flowers.

And he started crying--a grown man, a total stranger. He hugged me and thanked me several times, and hugged my husband and thanked him, and he cried.

Whoever he was, whoever he was going to see, whatever was going on--he really needed those flowers. Maybe we restored his faith in humanity a little. I've said several little prayers for him and whoever he was visiting.

So, since tomorrow's Valentine's Day, I challenge you to make a stranger's day. To me, Valentine's Day is about love--all love, not just the getting-laid-kind. I urge you to love humanity and make a small gesture that would make somebody's day.  Random acts of kindness help people see the beauty that's in the world when it may be that they're having a hard time noticing anything but how ugly life can be.  And I swear that giving a stranger flowers I procured by chance and seeing how glad he was to have them, felt better than giving my husband any of the silly trinket presents I've given him over the years for Valentine's Day.  It felt amazing.

So, if you're down on V-Day--and even if you're not--I hope that somebody brightens your day with some small gesture. And I urge you to do the same for somebody else.

No Valentines

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 03:12:57 GMT

I really hate to say this, but I won't be making new pervvy valentines this year. This is partly because I only saw OotP once (in the theater, and no I don't want to see that particular one again), but mostly because real life has been annoyingly demanding of late. The good news is, I'm working on an icon post--I figured I could either do two or three new valentines--badly--and barely have them up in time for Valentine's Day, or I could start an icon post, take more time, and have a better post of items people could use year-round.

Pervvy valentines for the previous two years can be found here and here (WARNING: adult language and innuendo), if you feel like using them again.

Cracktastic

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 03:12:22 GMT

One of the other reasons I haven't had enough time to be on LJ much lately...

Whilst talking fics with quirkiein a chat window, we ended up with something a bit cracktastic (essentially, Living!Regulus getting ahold of still-living!Sirius's communication mirror)...

[20:23] Quirkie: he will torment sirius with it when he's trying to talk to harry or something XD
[20:24] Laurel: Probably. :)
[20:24] Laurel: Were there 2 mirrors, or 3...?
[20:24] Quirkie: I don't care.
[20:24] Laurel: fair enough
[20:24] Laurel: "In THIS universe..."
[20:24] Quirkie: harry doesn't need a mirror that much
[20:24] Laurel: Fuck Harry
[20:25] Quirkie: or not
[20:24] Laurel: Not in a sexy way
[20:25] Quirkie: no, harry is too emo to get any in our world, except for maybe a bit of voyeurism later, if we're feeling generous
[20:26] Laurel: Dammit--I was just like, "Barty crouched... wait... *headdesk*
[20:27] Laurel: I'm not sure if Harry meeting Reg would be make of win or utter crack
[20:27] Quirkie: probably crack
[20:27] Quirkie: I would be too tempted
[20:27] Quirkie: and we've talked about the crack aspect too much for it not to be
[20:28] Laurel: What if he "meets" him through the mirror?
[20:29] Quirkie: Reg would be like, 'wtf! potter! you're already dead!'
[20:29] Laurel: And Harry would be all, "OMGZ R U from teh futurz?"
[20:30] Quirkie: um, what? hey, sirius, wtf is potter doing in your mirror?
[20:31] Laurel: And Harry would be all, "You have the most BEAUTIFUL EYES, Man-From-the-Future!"
[20:31] Quirkie: yes!
[20:32] Quirkie: Reg: ... Why, thank you. But I still hate your face. Go die please.
[20:32] Quirkie: pwn'd!
[20:33] Laurel: Harry: *Emo tear* "Barty tried to kill me!"
[20:33] Laurel: Reg: "Well I wish he had!"
[20:33] Quirkie: Harry: Why must you hurt me so, you lovely cruel thing!
[20:35] Laurel: Harry: *starts keeping a diary for all his VERY COMPLICATED feelings about Reg*
[20:36] Quirkie: Very Complicated Feelings: Why don't you understand meeeeeee? I looooovvveee yoooooouuuu!
[20:37] Laurel: Harry: "Stick the mirror in your pants for me, please, Mystery Future Man?"
[20:37] Laurel: Reg: "NO."
[20:37] Laurel: Harry: "Please? Just once?"
[20:38] Quirkie: Reg: No. No, don't do that, you horrible child--
[20:38] Quirkie: Barty's Soul, Wherever it May Be: HE SAID NO, BETCH!
[20:38] Laurel: P.S. LUPIN GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY MAN!
[20:39] Quirkie: PS Reg, OMG I MISS YOU!!!! WHY DID YOU NEVER LOVE ME??? I WOULD HAVE BEEN GAY FOR YOU!!!!
[20:39] Quirkie: Barty = capslock of doom, apparently
[20:41] Laurel: Mr. Moony would like to register his smug triumph at keeping Mr. Black's heart all these years, and add the following to Mr. Crouch: PWNED, BETCH!!!
[20:41] Quirkie: Barty: FUCK YOU!
[20:42] Quirkie: Mr. Padfoot would like to agree with Mr. Moony, and to also note that Mr. Crouch's father was far bitchier, and that Mr. Crouch needs to work on his technique, because that emo!shouting will get him nowhere with Regulus.

In my husband's words, "This is why the Internet was invented."

Small icon post--it's a Christmas miracle!

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 03:46:58 GMT

Happy Christmas to all!

I've got a handful of icons on my computer that were never officially posted (though I've been using some of these for a while, so you may remember seeing some before) and I figured I should officially put them up for grabs.

Preview:

Harry Potter:
<--(Remus/Regulus = new favorite ship, BTW)

Misc. fandoms:
<--Harold and Kumar 2
<--Depeche Mode with HP reference
<--Spiderman

Battlestar Galactica:

As always, take all you want, but credit for all you take. If the... mood... surrounding a certain fandom--and the mood towards fandom from a certain popular blogging website--seem positive in 2008, I hope to start posting icons again now and then. I know the reason a lot of you are here is because of the HP icons, and my icons were very sparse in 2007. (Also? I've been sadly neglecting Heroes, and that fandom needs a boost too.)

Hope you had a snicker, and again, Happy Holidays! : )

Jo interviews, hooray!

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 01:58:19 GMT

Because everybody seems to be linking only to the podcast, I'm posting a link to the page that gives the bulleted list of all the HP canon Rowling gave in interviews this week (and ever, really); just click and scroll down to the lists.

Lots of very interesting information, actually, though not revealing anything new about Regulus is a sin. Somebody spank Jo. (Wait, no--spank Regulus instead. Or even better, have Remus-or-Sirius-or-even-James do it, then write about it and give me the link.)

Oh, right, and I've been meaning to mention--I'm not dead, just working absolutely ridiculous amounts this month (which is good, as there is A Major Holiday That Requires Much Shopping right around the corner, and I've got my cosmetic addiction to feed, too, though I'd trade the extra money for some quality Remus/Regulus in a heartbeat).

Most of my free time (what free time?) earlier this month was dedicated doing beta work for the third novella in minisinoo's Aorist Subjunctive series. You fans of the series will be happy to know she's probably going to be able to post it this weekend, and as the first person who gets to read it--always an honor, and I admit finding out what happens next is my very selfish reason for being so involved with this--I can tell you it's really fucking good (as always), with an especially wonderful Sirius chapter in there... and if you're not a fan of the series yet, reading it and sending comments is a lovely way to spend the weekend. Min continually amazes me--I've spent many, many hours working with her on each part of this novella, and I'm just her creative-type beta (she's also got a brit beta and a grammar beta). Add to that all the time it takes to actually write these, revise them after each beta's comments, plot out the next part (brainstorming, outlines, etc.), and all the insane amount of research she does for every little detail, and I can only conclude that she has a timeturner--that's the only possible explaination for how hard she works on these. She's easily the most meticulous fanfic writer I've ever even heard about, and as icing on the cake, she really gets into the psychology for her characters (and has a background in psychology, so when she gets into their heads--it works). For those who aren't familiar with the story, it's an AU in which Cedric survives the Triwizard Tournament but Dumbedore doesn't, which obviously turns canon inside-out (just think of all the ways this war might go differently if Dumbledore was dead by the time it started... well, you don't actually have to think of all those ways, I suppose, Min's already done it!).

Owl post

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:15:40 GMT

We have a motherfuckingowl in our yard right now. YA, RLY! I am totally fucking serious. This is so rad.

I hope it finds some mice and fucking kills their asses and eats them and uses the energy to mate and have baby owls (OMGSOCUTE) that will find any leftover mice and kills those too.

But not the snake. Please to be leaving Mr. Snake to live, Mr. Owl.

Hee, I just found my OP about mice:

So, me and Teh Husband were coming home tonight from an evening of wine-drinking and movie-watching with our really close friends. He opened the garage, and was all screaming, “OMGWTF,RAT!!!1!” And I freaked out. I was like, where?! b/c I was too wrapped up in my PSP game to have been looking where he was driving (plus he’d had one drink to my four). We got out of the car, the door and light still open and on, and I demanded he try to kill it. He promised he would.

Well, I was pretty buzzed, and my husband is great and wonderful, but he also likes to shelter me, so I was afraid he’d tell me he’d killed it even if it got away, and maybe it’s the alcohol, but I said I wanted to watch him kill it. So, Husband!Attacks with shovel. Mouse!Runs runs to other side of garage (for indeed, it turns out it was a mouse and not a rat, not that that's much better at all). I tell husband where it went. Husband!Attacks again with shovel. Mouse!Runs into my flower bed (OMGIWASSTANDINGRIGHTTHEREEARLIERTODAY!). I tell husband where it went. Husband!Attacks, and Mouse!Runs to the corner of the house. I foolishly think we have it now, and Husband!Attacks, and Mouse….RUNSACOUPLEFEETUPOURFUCKINGHOUSEWALL,OMGWTF!!!11!1!!!. I didn’t even know mice could do that! I will have nightmares for months about mice climbing walls. Husband!WhacksTheMouseWithAShovel! And Mouse!RunsTowardsMe OMG and it goes across the driveway and we can’t find it. Keep in mind that it’s dark except for the porch and garage light, and my flashlight, and that damn mice run fast!

Maybe he’s in our neighbor’s yard, and their dog will kill him dead (that’ll be the first time I have anything good to say about that [non-stop barking] dog). Maybe it’s in my garden somewhere (faints). Maybe it went back into our garage (OMFG!!!). But I think I was freaked out enough tonight, as to have lost a year and a half of my life.

A year and a half. Just… gone. Poof!

Music video!

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 03:54:39 GMT

OMG.

Why have I never seen the music video for Depeche Mode's "Suffer Well" before? Somebody fire me from fangirldom. I don't deserve their music any more.

ETA: For everybody else who enjoys seeing Dave Gahan treat a microphone stand like a stripper pole, there's this (it starts slow, but boy does it speed up!).

Oi, product junkies...

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:01:46 GMT

I'm thinking of doing one last Sephora order while the 20% off purchase code (FF2007, U.S. only) is still working (I think it expires 11/20/07?). Especially since their return policy kicks butt (if you don't like it, send it back in 60 days; vendor-paid return label included with order).

EDIT: The code is still working today, 11/21, so it looks like you can still get in on this if you hurry.

What are your top make-up recommendations from them? Enable me!

For anybody just bitten by the shopping bug, here's my recommendations:
-Benefit's Benetint (good just-got-out-of-a-hot-shower cheek color, or good just-got-kissed-too-hard lip color)
-Pop Beauty's Glow Belle palette (it's got eyeshadow! Blush! Bronzer! Highlighter! Under-eye-corrector! ...but extremely light/subtle/soft/sheer/safe-for-daytime-use! Some might find it too light, but I like how it's goofproof and nearly impossible to over-apply)
-Stila Smudge Pot eyeliner (this stuff won't budge without make-up remover--it's safe through oil, sweat, rain, you name it)
-Too Faced Lash Injection (apply one thick coat instead of multiple coats, or you'll get tarantula eyelashes--but one coat lasts all day, it's so nice to not have to reapply)

I'm especially curious about Smashbox, Nars, Tarte, and Urban Decay. Obviously, I love stains and products that last all day without needing reapplication, and palattes/sets. ~~And I want a really badass powder luminizer for cheeks~~... *

*Found the badass powder luminizer--at least, the ~~entire universe~~ everybody on Makeup Alley seems to love Nars blush in Albatross, so that's what I'm going with!

Heroes

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 04:27:10 GMT

(Spoilers for tonight's Heroes)

Ok, the twins tonight? Hil-fucking-arious, though I don't think they were supposed to be.

First off, I was really protective about who my brother hooked up with, so I can understand Maya's whole jealous/territorial thing. Very few women deserve to get to take your favorite person away from you. The sex thing at the wedding, though? I don't buy it. Who the fuck gets married and thinks nobody is going to *notice* when the bride in the big poufy white outfit just, y'know, disappears? And she was leading the guy away by the hand--not even trying to sneak away and meet up with him somewhere. She wanted to get caught.

At least I get Maya now. Because who hasn't wanted to kill everybody they see after spending all day at a wedding with the inevitable relatives asking "Why aren't you married?" and "when are we gonna have one of these for you?" Ha ha, I totally felt her pain for once.

And her brother chosing the wife Maya obviously disapproved of brings a whole new twist to her and Sylar now, doesn't it? Because he totally knows she's gonna pick getting laid over her brother, at least for a while. If nothing else, she'd be doing it because her brother did that to her. Him sulking from the back seat takes on a whole new meaning. (Subtitles: "Maya, you cannot uncross your legs for this man! You are supposed to be a nun!" and he sits back and sulks, "WHORE.")

XD

I still hate the twins, but they're suddenly sooooo much easier to snark. Which makes it easier to live with them on camera.

Side note: Veronica Mars is 24, and Adam gave into temptation six years ago? LOL, so he's ancient-years-old and she'd have been barely legal. Just in case, y'know, you weren't getting enough of the creepy vibe from him before.

More later this week.

Dangerous plants

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 01:28:04 GMT

One of our neighbors wants to plant some bamboo.

"Please don't do that," I said. "That's a very invasive plant."

"I'm gonna grow the non-invasive kind," he said.

"No--pretty much all real bamboo is invasive."

"You'll hate how it looks when it gets really tall...?"

"No, I just don't want bamboo growing in my yard."

"It's gonna work," he promises. "It'll be great."

What the hell kind of roughians is he trying to attract to our street, anyway? Because I'll tell you what he's gonna attract.

Pandas. Pandas and ninjas.

We are so fucked.